Alright, this post is for all of you who have thought to yourself, “I need a glorified career, but I don’t want to read boring textbooks
and write essays I could not care less about.” I know you’re out there; half of
you sat around me in English classes. I saw you dozing off while the passive
voice was being explained to you by the professor. Well, I’ve got great news.
Nowadays, if you feel like doing nothing else, there’s always beauty school!
I have had 3 separate friends drop out of college to get
their degree in esthiology (the greatest
–ology), and they are each in love with their separate careers. One settled
down with her husband in the suburbs. She and a few fellow stylists she met at cosmetology
school opened a beauty salon. Maybe she won’t be famous, but she will hear all the juiciest gossip her
catty, small-town desperate housewife customers have on one another!
Another friend is
having the time of his life working at Serge Normant at John Frieda New York.
He lives right by work in the Meatpacking District in Manhattan, where he
charges over a hundred dollars just to cut the bangs off of rich young
socialites who want to look more European! He’s also developed quite a following
among the neighborhood’s chic gay community! Throngs of homosexual men pay
dozens of extra dollars for haircuts just to have their scalps massaged by my
admittedly handsome friend!
My last friend moved to Los Angeles, where she’s doing
costume make-up for major motion pictures- that’s right- she does makeup for
the stars! She’s so good, she might win one of the Oscars that no one pays
attention to! Her best work so far has been on Johnny Depp- but since it’s not
for a movie role, she won’t get any real recognition for it. You wouldn’t
believe how much eyeliner she goes through!
One disclaimer: cosmetology school still isn’t easy. You might become tempted to quit like you did at gymnastics, music, and everything else you ever tried. But you MUST resist this urge. Or else you’ll just be another shameful beauty school dropout! And we don’t want that…
